Apparently, Calvin Harris has an album out soon. So he’s turned to the most modern of self-promotion acts – throwing another hissy fit on his Twitter.

You may remember a few weeks ago when the British Phonographic Industry drew the ire of the bespectacled producer-popstar, and this time it’s, guess. No, not war. Not world poverty. Not even swine flu. No no no. The poor baby got a bad review for his new record.

Here’s the highlights in abridged form. It’s pretty funny. Excuse the shouting. Mr Harris’ caps lock button is clearly broken. And the swearing, he’s as potty-mouthed as ever:

THIS ENTIRE INDUSTRY IS FULL OF RICH PEOPLES KIDS, EVERYWHERE, FUCKING RICH PEOPLES KIDS RICH PEOPLES KIDS.

RICH PEOPLES KIDS GETTING GOOD REVIEWS BECAUSE MUMMY FUCKED THE JOURNO IN THE 80S (but it was acceptable in the 80s, non? Hur hur)

FUCK YOU RICH PEOPLE YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME I DON’T GIVE A FUCK I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE YOU ARE ONLY RICH PEOPLE.

Harris then played the ‘music for the people’ card.

RICH PEOPLE MEAN FUCK ALL TO ME SERIOUSLY. I’M MAKING MUSIC FOR REAL PEOPLE AND REAL PEOPLE DANCE – RICH PEOPLE STAND AT THE BACK.

Imagine you just spent 2 years of your life making a record. on your own. every single day, long hours, working to get it sounding right.

imagine the buzz of making something that you love, and after 2 years you finally have something you can’t wait for other people to hear.

then imagine that cd landing on the desk of “snide rich persons kid” or “pathetic london scene-FACE”.

then them skipping through the tracks in their lunch break, and saying “well its calvin harris isn’t it? 2 stars, he’s a dick head””

Then he went for the sympathy vote.

I’m telling you now that it doesn’t feel good.

but, how is it that i’ve been playing these songs to 20,000 people at festivals this summer, and it’s gone off every single time

Because they are drunk. Or idiots. Or drunk idiots.

Anyway, we suspect that this tantrum is solely for plugging his new record, which is out soon, or something, so we’re going to refuse him the pleasure of mentioning what it’s called, when it’s out, what’s on it, or any of that bumf. Fuck you, Calvin Harris! Yeah!

And for the record, Mr Harris – I’m far from rich, my Mum didn’t fuck any rock stars, and I still think you’re shit. And a bellend. So there.

This article was written for The Music Magazine.

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